Its Just Me

So, good news! I have been accepted to the MPA program at College of Charleston! Woohoo! My journey to work with a non-profit company officially starts now. My dream is to work for a company that benefits children. Its funny, growing up I absolutely detested kids. I always told people I was never having children. And then my first real job involved working with about 60 kids a day...all day....and I LOVED it. Now I don't want a job that doesn't involve working with kids. Being around them reminds me that simplicity is best. Love others, forgive and forget, and nap often. I love it.

I look around at some of my classmates who are moving on to big, new cities and I won't lie, I am slightly jealous. I'm not exactly venturing into uncharted territory with my grad school choice. However, I am reminded that my goal has always been to make a difference in someone else's life. And I truly believe that my path will lead to that result. Its just sometimes I think I have my life plan figured out and then I look at what other people are doing and I think to myself- am I settling? I would really like to know at what point do you decide that you are content and stop going full speed ahead for something else you don't have? Or do people even ever reach that point? Is there always going to be uncertainty in my decisions or will I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm picking the right career, marrying the right person, doing the best thing for my child, etc. I feel like there needs to be a "how to make major life decisions for dummies" handbook. I'd read it. So if you have any thoughts or opinions on this matter, I'd like to know. Right now I feel like I'm staying within my comfort area because I'd like to take a risk, but I'm not sure which risk to take. Do I drop everything and move to London? Do I move to a different state? Do I commit to one person for the rest of my life? Or do I stay here and work all of my spare time away because I live in constant fear of running out of money to pay for my rent, my food, my gas, etc. I'm wondering if everyone has these freak out moments like me or if this is just another aspect of life that seems to only happen in my own little world. Oh well. Enough banter for tonight.