So ok I've made the mistake of writing something similar to this before and it pissed a bunch of people off and so I erased it and apologized (Which I almost never erase what I have written) but it seems to me that this apparently taboo statement that I am about to make has proven itself to be true to me time and time again. I view friendships differently than most people. Yep, I said it. Bite my head off, feel offended, whatever whatever, but its true. Like I posted in my last entry I have a very tiny group of people I would actually call friends. I have a ton of aquaintences (for lack of a better word)- these are people that I can hang out with, and often do, but I don't trust with any of my personal stuff nor do I think they really even give a damn about me. Which hey, that's fine. If you aren't interested in being my friend, sorry? Not really. I adore my friends, and they are the absolute greatest. That is not to say I am not always looking for other people to include in this "circle of friends" its just that I have recognized that most people- my age at least- don't value truth, integrity, loyalty, and selflessness in the same way that I do. I would do ANYTHING for my friends, without question. I would happily lay my life down for them without thinking twice. They know I will always be completely honesty with them- even if that honesty hurts. They know I will stand up for them and for what I think is right and I have no problem being ridiculed for that. They know that no matter what I will have their back- if someone starts talking shit about them, or mistreating them in any way, you better believe I will be stepping in on their behalf. And the great thing about this is....I know that my friends will do all of those things for me. I have met SOOO many people here at Clemson, some great, others not so great. It drives me nuts that some people think that it is actually ok to treat other people like they are inferior. And yes, I have been treated like that. Whatever, I'm not crying over it but it pisses me off and then it pisses me off even more when people who I thought were friends DEFEND these people who think they can treat people any way they want to. Seriously?! All I can say is I thank God everyday for my friends, because if I had to rely on people like that....well, I'd be in a very dark and sad place right now. When is everyone going to quit being so damn selfish? Why is it necessary to talk shit about other people and bring them down? I've had so many people come to me upset because someone has hurt their feelings and then they turn around and do it themselves. Its a perpetual cycle of sickening crap! Its stuff like this that makes me want to become a nun...which I know is absolutely not the right reason, but at least God doesn't bullshit us.
Ok, that is my rant for tonight. Sorry you had to bear the wrath of my dissapointment and frustration. I promise the next post will be happier. =) I just want to challenge everyone to look at their own relationships and see how they treat other people. The day everyone stops thinking about themselves and start thinking about others is the day life will be meaningful again.
And to my friends- you know who you are bc there are like 10 of you: you guys are amazing. You are my stronghold and I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for being you. I love you more than you will ever know.
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